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"25 things about me, part 3"
  1. I have written over a thousand poems. I am including the hundred haiku I wrote as a project in this grand count.
  2. I’ve spent the past few weeks thinking of random things about me, a la Matias Vieneger, who has somehow advanced a Facebook quiz phenomenon epidemic to an actual form. It looks difficult.
  3. I can’t post honestly on my Facebook page the way I wish I could. Example: in the previous “things about”, I mention that I have not had intimate relations with a man in many moons. Such a post would be easily seen by a few men I have had intimate relations with, one of which might disagree with me on how long this has actually been (it feels like forever.),
    and more of which would simply not want to read about that.
  4. The gloriousness of having my own personal site is, regardless of legality, there is a taking on of responsibility by one when one enters my personal site - insomuch as if one sees something that one objects to, i always have the debate-crushing trump card of, “Well, you clicked on the link so you chose to come here at your own risk.” Facebook, being a site devoted to keeping people as quote connected as possible, puts the responsibility in the hands of the writer: “Well, you posted material on a site knowing that all your friends were going to find it and read it while idly poking around wasting time and waiting for work to be done, so you chose to post it at your own risk.” Unquote. There’s no question of differences between the two. I’m happy to be holding court once again from the former, and getting to smugly and snarkily smirk at the latter.
  5. Matias was right - these lists are hard work.
  6. I’ve been numb lately. I’ve been shellshocked.
  7. A while ago I saw a necklace whose pendant was a vintage compass. I liked the idea but didn’t like the price of the necklace, so I started idly poking around ebay. The week before last I got serious about searching and found some compasses I liked, but was disheartened by how much they sold for. Then last week I bid on three compasses, and won all three bids. Suddenly I have the beginnings of a vintage compass collection.
  8. I’ve kept one compass in my pocket: the first compass to arrive in the mai. It’s the least vintage of the three I currently own; from the 40s, encased in brown plastic. But it’s somehow the most dignified and magical of the three, so I play with it in my pocket as I walk to the subway, from the subway…caressing it and holding it, often taking it out to make sure North still exists.
  9. I don’t really like typing with proper capitalization. It’s like operating in a room with the windows closed and latched.
  10. I like how lowercase in poetry is accepted.
  11. I wonder if I can type a list where none of the items refer to any of the others, or if so refer in a more insightful way than train of thought.
  12. But, maybe train of thought isn’t the worst.
  13. I’m in a sticky situation, even now. I expect that in a week or two, maybe three, I’ll be out of this situation and be able to talk about it. I hope so. When I’m in a place where I feel the reality - “it just wouldn’t be proper to talk about this right now” - I get awkward and also resentful.
  14. At work today I snapped at my boss for the first time. It felt good.
  15. I’m hoping to get a man to moan my name very soon.
  16. I don’t think I’ll actually touch anyone anytime soon.
  17. No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir.
  18. Rough rug against bare sole.
  19. Oh! I forgot to burn that backup cd. I’ll do it now.
  20. My hair is blonder than it’s been in years. At first I couldn’t stand it, but now I’m intrigued by it. Is this the stuff that’s been coming out of my head for the past few years? It sure is blonde. With white. There is white.
  21. For my twenty-first birthday my then-live-in-boyfriend took me out to a Thai restaurant around the corner from where we lived. I ordered a glass of wine and they didn’t card me - I’m guessing because they didn’t really care. It’s one of the few times I haven’t been carded for alcohol.
  22. People say I look young, but I know better. I was around when I was young. Now I am less young.
  23. Written in diary:
    “O city city take me o city take city o take me city o me o take city take city me take it city take me take it o city o me,”
  24. I hope Frank and Matias and Christine don’t let me pussy out on this writing thing.
  25. I know I still have something to say.